Hi. My name is Shonda and I have Mom Guilt.
See Braxton? His face says it all. I subjected him to a cold room with a bow tie. Did I feel guilty about that? Nope. But see his nice tan going on? He had breastfeeding jaundice. And everyday he was even the slightest orange I felt guilty.
As moms we are bombarded everyday with ideas of how we should parent or not parent. Whether it’s telling us what we should feed our kids, dress them in, how we should discipline them, what activities they should do, where they should live, how much tv to watch ect ect ect.
And I have a bad case of mommy guilt.
Last week Jacoby used shall we say, colorful words at school. He has a tendency to give into peer pressure, even without the pressure. Some boys told him it would be funny so he jumped right in. So when the Principal was on the other line I was ashamed. I’ve cursed in front of my kids. Not much but still have. Mom guilt.
Yesterday I was breastfeeding Braxton and Kenley fell on the carpet while running. The girl has no grace. At all. And I was tied down feeding Braxton that I couldn’t run over and give her a big hug right away. She climbed on the couch next to me and snuggled but still. Mom guilt.
Then there are the moments when all 3 need something at the same time. Or I’ve had a crazy day and dinner is late, bath time is late,and they all want my attention and I just need to pee! So I give into microwaved chicken nuggets, quick bath and peeing with the door open. Mom guilt.
Then there’s the long hours I work as a nurse, the fact that I have 3 kids instead of only 2 and so on and so forth. I could go on and on and on with what all I’ve heard and been told.
Mommy guilt is real and everyday there are little specks in my life that I think ‘I could’ve done that different’ or ‘wish I could have a redo” or the ‘guess I’ll start saving for their therapy now’ thoughts.
Let’s face it. Parenting is not easy. There are no manuals for parenting, just thoughts, opinions and ideas out there. It is trial and error. Some things are black and white, such as don’t give your kids meth. And some things are different colors such like a grey or a red, like lying about where babies come from (the technical version not the gift from God version).
So here’s my take. Do what is best for you. Do what makes your child laugh and healthy and growing and happy. Do what is right for YOUR family. And only you know what is right for your family (except meth. Meth is never right).
Please don’t beat yourself up. We are, believe it or not, allowed to have bad days. We are allowed to pee with the door closed, get take out some nights, put the kids to bed 10 minutes early for quiet time, and buy some new undies(I’ve been working on the thought that it is ok to spend money on myself).No one walks the parents walk without mistakes, but the love you give and lessons learned make up for the momentary loss of memory when packing a lunch and forgetting a juice box, or whatever else you did or didn’t do.
So as Braxton’s sad baby face says good night (or take this tie off of me!) be thankful for your blessings and give yourself a pat on the back or chocolate. You’re doing a great job~